Countdown
by bredalot
Summary: Pam, before 8. Post-ep for The Job.


**Disclaimer: You know, this seems kind of silly. The people at The Office know I don't think I own it.**

_A/N: Something different. Because I love Pam._

5:32 Pam parks her fancy new car and unlocks her fancy new apartment (she's got his words, all his words from the past seven years running through her head, and everything sounds like him). She drops her keys on the table and gives in to the giggles that have been bubbling inside of her ever since he opened that door, sinking slowly and calamitously to the floor as everything she's ever thought about him spins around her head in a cyclone of emotion. Maybe, maybe this is love. Maybe it's hope. It's definitely joy.

5:59 Pam steps into the shower, still bouncing with excitement.

6:06 Pam picks out her favorite conditioner, the really expensive kind that she almost never uses, but that makes her hair shiny and soft.

6:11 Pam is running her fingers through her hair, rinsing out the last of the conditioner, when it hits her: this is the end of everything. Maybe the beginning of something new, but definitely the end of everything.

6:19 Pam steps out of the shower, shaking from nerves.

6:24 She's standing in her bedroom wearing only a towel, trying not to give in to panic. She pulls open every drawer and throws open every closet door. She flips cursorily through her work shirts, but this is a BIG THING, and she needs something more than that (and those words echo in her head, and she hopes, hopes…). Her dresses shine at her from the back of her closet, and she's hit with memories of "I'm in love with you" and "Your dancing is very cute" and she almost picks one of those before she remembers how both those nights ended, and then she's shaking again. They never do get this right, do they?

6:40 She gives up on the clothes and decides to do her hair before it dries the way it always does. She never spends time on her hair, but tonight warrants it. She pulls out her blow-dryer and curling iron and panics a little bit, because every time in the last year she's done her hair it's been for him and it's never turned out well. But maybe this time…and she plugs both in and settles in to do her hair.

7:05 Her hair is shiny and curly and she's having a hard time refraining from playing with it, and she's satisfied. For the first time since she got out of the shower, she thinks that maybe this will work. And then she realizes she still has nothing to wear, and she panics again.

7:22 She's never worn this shirt before. That's good, right? No memories to taint what happens tonight – it's a fresh start. She likes that idea. A fresh start. They certainly need it. And it's a very pretty blue, and she's always liked herself in blue, and when she puts it on it's soft and flattering and makes her feel good about herself, and she decides those are all good things, tonight. So she wears it.

7:35 She never wears much make-up, and she's never been a lipstick girl, but doesn't tonight merit it? She's got a couple of pretty colors that she could wear (but not the one intended for her wedding – tonight is not the night for that one). But then she remembers who he is, and who she is, and she's not quite ready for fancy new _everything_, not when everything is changing so fast, and so, she thinks, lip gloss is enough.

7:51 Oh, dammit, _shoes_.

8:01 He's late. Oh my God, he's late. He's not coming. She was a fool to think this could ever be possible.

8:07 The doorbell rings. Pam, feeling like the end of the world, answers it. He's standing there, in his fancy new haircut and fancy new suit, looking just as uncomfortable as she feels (they suit each other, she thinks, but then, they always have). He hands her a few daffodils, and she'd laugh at him for bringing her flowers, but daffodils are really just what she needs for her kitchen table, and so she just smiles shyly and takes them. He laughs a little awkwardly and shifts his weight in the doorway as she hurriedly puts the flowers in water. As they leave, she stops to lock her door, and when she looks up he smiles at her, his _real_ smile, that she's seen so rarely this year, and she thinks, ok, so this is awkward, but it'll get better. Because, after all, this is Jim.


End file.
